


James's Stag Do

by accidentallyonpurpose



Series: Marauders Era [3]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alcohol, F/M, Fluff, M/M, Stag Nights & Bachelor Parties, The boys get drunk, Werewolf Remus Lupin, animagi, the boys all turn into their animagi forms, the boys go on a retreat
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-10
Updated: 2017-02-15
Packaged: 2018-08-30 03:48:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8517409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/accidentallyonpurpose/pseuds/accidentallyonpurpose
Summary: The Marauder's go to a weekend retreat to cause mischief for James's last days of bachelordom.





	1. Night 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading and for anyone reading from the States, stay strong in these turbulent times. Us friends up North support you!

James had known that Remus would balk when he found out that his stag do was falling on a full moon, but it was the only day available for the wedding and Lily insisted on their do’s being the weekend before the wedding. That way they would fulfill the traditional not seeing each other before the wedding, but would have a night where they could party, and still go to bed at a good time the night before the wedding. Lily was a planner, down to her core. After a lot of whinging on James’ part, and with a little help from Padfoot, they had convinced him that it would be a good time. James had found an adventure-style retreat for stag do’s that catered to both Muggles and wizards. It was about an hour away from where the wedding was going to be, and offered many outdoor activities; those aimed towards wizards included spell target practice, extreme broom flying, spelunking for grumbumbles, and overnight camping excursions. It was really that last that sealed the deal for James- he figured that they could go for an overnight camping trip, change into animals, and return to the lodge in the morning as humans.  
And so, three days before the wedding found Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs checking into WizardAdventures Britain, a weekend-getaway destination for wizards who were celebrating a stag do, a hen do, or who were looking for team-building exercises.  
“Potter, party of four,” James told the house elf behind the counter.  
The elf snapped her fingers and a card flew from a Rolodex into her hands.  
“Yes sir, room 230. Activities scheduled: tomorrow, target practice in the morning, white water rafting, and overnight camping. Sunday, an afternoon broom-tour over the canyons, and an evening brewery tour. Optional evening transport to Swansea, the bayside city just outside the resort. Breakfast served every morning from six to ten, lunch from twelve to two, and dinner from five to seven. Tea is offered between lunch and dinner. Sirs may leave their bags here, they will be brought up to the rooms shortly. If there are any questions or concerns, sirs may speak to Mr. Browne, the hotel manager. Sirs will be meeting him shortly at the Dragon Slayer.” The house elf handed the card to James.  
“Thank you,” James said, taking the card. “Where is the Dragon Slayer?”  
*******

Mr. Browne turned out to be a tall thin blonde man in his mid-thirties dressed in a pinstripe suit. He met them at the bar and introduced himself and the staff.  
“The house elf you met at the front is Rookey, this is Melissa, our activities coordinator,” he gestured to the well-coiffed brunette witch beside him, “and our care-taking staff is headed by Gisley the house elf, who over-sees the other housekeeping elves. As you know, we cater to both Muggles and wizards at this location and therefore ask that our wizard clients be as discreet as possible when not in wizard-only activities. This bar is a mingled bar, meaning that both Muggles and wizards may partake. There is a wizards-only bar, The Stirring Pot, located in your hotel. Look for the tapestry of three men hunting a unicorn. Behind it is a door that can only be unlocked via the Alohamora spell. Your hotel, the Merlin, is where we house our wizard guests. Down the road is the Arthur, which houses our Muggle guests. On the card that Rookey gave you, it is indicated whether your activity is a wizard-exclusive activity or a mingled activity. Please be respectful to the Muggles when you are interacting with them.” He leaned over to look at the card that James pulled out of his pocket. “Ah, it seems that your white-water rafting and brewery tour are both mingled activities, although the brewery tour does offer a look into our butter-beer brewery as well.” He paused for a moment, clearly running down a mental checklist. “I believe that’s all. Any questions?” He smiled charmingly at them.  
“No, I think we’re good for right now,” James said. “Thank you.”  
“Off to the next group, then,” he said jovially, shaking James’ hand. “Congratulations on the upcoming nuptials and enjoy your stay. We’ll see you soon.”  
“Bye,” James said, shaking Melissa’s hand as she left. “Well, it’s only quarter past nine, shall we stay and have a drink?” James asked the other three.  
“May as well,” Remus answered, sitting down at the bar. “I’ll have a Firewhisky, please.”  
“Sorry, mate, only Muggle drinks at this bar. Don’t want them asking questions.”  
“Of course, sorry. Um, I’ll have a scotch.”  
The bartender poured it, sliding the glass to Remus.  
“That’ll be four pounds, please.”  
Remus fished out his wallet, glad that he had thought to bring some Muggle money with him. “Thanks,” he said, handing the money to the bartender.  
“Anything for you men?” he asked of the other three.  
“I’ll have a pint of whatever ale you’ve got on tap,” James said.  
“Me too,” Peter squeaked.  
“And I’ll have a bottle of your house wine,” Sirius said. “Go big or go home, right?”  
Remus rolled his eyes. “I’m the one who will be dragging your sorry ass back to our hotel room tonight.”  
“Yes, yes you will.” Sirius grinned at him.  
“That’ll be £2.60 each for the ale and £12.00 for the bottle of wine.”  
The other three men dug in their pockets, each pulling out an assortment of Muggle money. Sorting through it, they each laid down some bills and coins, looking at Remus questioningly. Although they had all had to deal with Muggle money at one point or another, Remus was the one with the most experience due to his Muggle mother. Remus sorted through the piles, giving Peter back a bill and making Sirius add a bill and some coins. When he was satisfied that there was enough money for their drinks and tips, he slid the money over to the bartender.  
“There you go,” he said.  
“You the mother hen of the group, then?” the bartender asked.  
“You have no idea,” Remus said drily, taking a sip of his scotch. “Also the one most familiar with Muggle money.”  
“Ah, yeah that comes in handy,” he said, placing the drinks in front of their recipients. “Will that be all, gents?”  
“For right now, yes, thank you,” James answered, smiling.  
“Alright, don’t get into too much trouble now,” he said with a wink, moving down the bar to help other patrons.  
“No promises,” Sirius said to his retreating form. Pouring himself a glass of wine, Sirius took a sip before looking around. “Hey, I think those girls are looking at you, Moony,” he said, grinning.  
Remus looked over to where Sirius was looking with a dumb grin on his face.  
“Lucky for all of us I’m already taken,” he said drily with a raised brow at Sirius.  
“Only because I know how to make a move,” Sirius answered. “Come on, be nice, go say hi.”  
“There are four of us here. For all we know, they could be looking at any of us.”  
“Only one way to find out,” Sirius said, knocking back his first glass of wine and stalking over to the girls. The others watched him talk to them for a few moments, saying something that made them all titter and look over at the other three men. Then, they all nodded and stood, following Sirius back to the bar, drinks in hand.  
“Hi there,” James greeted, smiling at the girls. “I’m James, this is Peter, Remus and, in case he didn’t introduce himself, Sirius.”  
“I’m Amanda, and these are my friends Clarice, Anna, Miranda, and Sam.”  
“Nice to meet you all,” James said, smiling at each in turn.  
“So what brings you here?” Sirius asked them.  
“Hen do, I’m getting married in a few weeks,” Amanda answered them. “And I’m led to believe that James, you’re the lucky man of your group?”  
“Indeed I am. I’m getting married on Monday.”  
“Wow, one last hoorah before you’re chained down forever, then?” she asked with a little laugh, laying her hand on James’ forearm.  
“I suppose so, yeah,” James said with a small chuckle. “Really just an excuse for the four of us to get in trouble.”  
“Oh, I bet you boys get in a lot of trouble,” she purred, smiling slightly.  
“More than you can imagine,” Sirius piped up from beside James. “What hotel are you ladies staying at?”  
“We’re at the Arthur. What about you lads?”  
“We’re at the Merlin.”  
“Too bad. It would’ve been more fun if we were in the same hotel.” Amanda pouted prettily, her hand still on James’ arm. Sirius filled his glass once more and took a sip.  
“So what do you all do?” Clarice asked.  
“Um, we just finished our A-Levels,” Remus said quickly while the other three boys blinked. “You?”  
“Us too!” Sam said, smiling at Remus. “Know what you want to do with your life?”  
“No, we’re all still trying to figure it out,” he answered. A loud, thumping beat started pulsing from the speakers in the bar and the lights dimmed. Remus noticed a dancing area in the back corner that he hadn’t noticed before. It was now lit and was quickly gathering a crowd. A voice came on over the speakers.  
“Hello ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Dragon Slayer. I’m DJ Kooley and I will be providing your music for tonight; any requests bring them to me and I’ll see what I can do. Now, let’s have some fun!” With that the song changed to another one with just as obnoxious a beat, eliciting a cheer from the small crowd on the floor.  
“Oooohhh, want to go dance?” Amanda asked the group.  
“Uh, sure,” James, who had been sipping at his pint and was almost done, knocked the rest back before moving to the dance floor with Amanda. Amanda’s group followed her eagerly and, after some cajoling from Sirius, the rest of the boys moved to the dance floor as well.  
Amanda stuck to James, trying to get as close as possible to him. The others ended up in a rough circle formation, James and Amanda at the head of it.  
Sirius found himself bracketed by who he remembered as being Sam and Anna, all of them moving to the pulsating beat. Remus, who was between Clarice and Anna, was awkwardly bouncing to the beat, looking extremely uncomfortable. Peter, who was between Clarice and Miranda, was trying his hardest to dance with both girls at the same time. Amanda had wrapped her arms around James’ neck and was twisting her hips, face inches from James’.  
Sam pulled Sirius by the shoulders so he was facing her. “You’re a very good dancer,” she purred, looking up at him through her lashes.  
“You’re not so bad yourself,” he grinned, allowing her to loop her arms around his neck and wrapping his hands around her waist. “You’ve got lovely eyes.”  
“You’d be able to see them better if you got closer.”  
Anna put her hands on Sirius’ hips.  
“How long are you boys here for?” she asked, propping her chin on his shoulder.  
“Until Monday,” he said, turning his head so that their faces were a few inches apart.  
“Us too,” she murmured, tilting her chin to see him better. “We should make sure to meet up again,” she said, her lips grazing his ear. Pulling away, she grabbed one of his hands and turned him so that he was facing the center of the circle again, able to turn easily towards either girl.  
Sirius looked across the circle at Remus, grinning wolfishly. Remus turned to Sam, who was on his left. Sirius always enjoyed attention, a fact that Remus knew. Remus trusted him to be faithful and was happy to let others shower attention on him when the opportunity presented itself. Or usually he was. But when it was in the form of two drunken women who had plastered themselves to Sirius, Remus started to get a little tetchy.  
“You jealous of the attention he’s getting?” Clarice smiled at him, hand firmly on his forearm.  
“No,” Remus said through tight lips.  
“Good, because you’ve got lots of attention right here,” she said. She put her arms on his shoulders. “You single?” she whispered, tongue darting out to nibble at his earlobe.  
“No, actually,” he said, extricating himself from her grasp. “I’m with him,” Remus reached across the circle and grabbed Sirius’ hand out of Anna’s. “We’re going to get a drink.” Remus dragged a still grinning Sirius over to the bar.  
“You know I was just flirting, right love?” Sirius asked, smile dimming. Remus sat down on one of the stools and motioned the bartender for another drink.  
“Of course I do,” Remus said, squeezing Sirius’ hand. “Or the rational part of me does. The lizard part of my brain is a little… possessive tonight.”  
“Well I find that a tiny bit sexy,” Sirius grinned, leaning down so that his forehead was touching Remus’.  
“At least one of us does,” Remus murmured, grinning slightly. He pulled away at the clearing of a throat.  
“That’ll be four pounds.”  
Remus reached into his pocket and took out the money, putting it on the counter.  
“Thanks.”  
Remus picked up the glass, playfully looking at Sirius over the rim.  
“Oh my god, are you trying to kill me?” Sirius asked, leaning in closer to Remus. Taking the glass out of his hand, Sirius cupped Remus’ face with his other hand. He sealed his lips to Remus’, putting the glass down on the bar and slinking his other hand to the back of Remus’ neck. They snogged until they were interrupted by a throat being cleared again.  
“Look mates, I’m all for people loving who they want, but not at the bar, please?”  
“Sorry, Can you pass me my bottle of wine?” Sirius asked as he pulled farther from Remus, sitting on the stool next to him. The bartender grabbed his bottle, which had remained untouched in the short time they were on the dance floor, and slid a new glass over to him. “Thanks, mate,” he said with a jovial grin, pouring himself a large glass. They sipped in silence for a couple minutes, Remus lacing their hands together.  
“I’m tired,” Remus said suddenly, about halfway through his scotch.  
“Hi tired, I’m Sirius,” was the reply.  
“I’m serious,” Remus said, rolling his eyes.  
“No, I’m Sirius, you’re tired.”  
“Are you fucking serious?” Remus asked, exasperated.  
“No, I’m fucking you,” Sirius giggled at his own joke, draining the rest of his glass.  
“Oh my god,” Remus sighed, draining his glass as well. “Can we just go to bed?”  
“Sure, love.” Sirius picked up the rest of his bottle and stood, dragging Remus along with him towards their friends, who were still dancing.  
Peter had all the girls around him and was looking flustered and a little overwhelmed. James was snogging Amanda, hands buried in her hair.  
“I think it’s time for us to go,” Sirius said as they got to the outskirts of the group.  
“Okay,” Peter piped up. “It was nice to meet you all.”  
James seemed to not have heard.  
“Prongs,” Sirius said, going and poking his friend in the back. “Time to go.”  
James pulled away, looking slightly confused. “What- Oh, yeah, you’re probably right,” he looked back at Amanda. “Time for me to go,” he shrugged, extricating himself from her hands. “It was a pleasure to meet you. Good luck with your marriage.”  
“What, that’s it? You’re just going to leave?” Amanda asked from behind him.  
“Yeah,” he answered. Amanda looked gob-smacked for a moment, and then a little angry and put out.  
“Let’s go,” Remus said before Amanda could say anything else, and the four men left. Sirius still had the bottle of wine in hand. They made their way down the road to their hotel and blearily made it to their room. They went about their night-time routines, moving easily around one-another with the practiced ease of sharing a dormitory room for the past eight years. When Remus and Sirius were settled in one bed and James and Peter in the other, they turned out the lights.  
“I feel kind of guilty,” James sighed into the darkness. There was silence for a moment.  
“Well, you only snogged her,” Sirius said reasonably after a moment. “Did you want to do anything more with her?”  
“Not really,” James answered.  
“And are you planning on snogging anyone else?” Remus asked.  
“Well, no, but I wasn’t really planning on snogging her, was I?”  
“No, but now you know it will make you feel guilty, which means you probably don’t really want to be snogging anyone except for Lily, yeah?” Peter pitched in.  
“I suppose you’re right, Wormtail.”  
“And it’s our first night at the stag do. I think you’re allowed to go a little crazy, make a mistake or two,” Sirius said. “That’s what the rest of us are here for. To make sure you don’t go too crazy.”  
“Right,” James answered. “Well, early start tomorrow. I’m going to sleep. Goodnight, lads.”  
“Night.”  
“Goodnight.”  
“Nighty-night.”


	2. Running

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys go on a camping trip and transform into their animal selves

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow it's been a while. It's been a hectic while. But here's a new chapter!

Saturday, target practice in the morning, white water rafting, and overnight camping  
The next morning came too early for the boys, who groaned and moaned as they got ready and gulped down a quick breakfast. They found themselves on a horseless carriage that took them slightly away from the hotel and out of sight of any Muggles. There was two other groups besides theirs- one was a group of four men and the other was a group of five, three women and two men. They all got out of the carriages when they stopped, and were greeted by three wizards.   
“Good morning everyone, and welcome to target practice! Each of us will take a group, and we’ll get started!”   
They spent the next two hours shooting spells at various objects that were magically launched into the air. Their group was by far the most destructive, Sirius and James inciting the largest explosions of them all, Remus efficiently hitting every target launched for him and Peter somehow managing to accidentally hit all the targets for all the groups on his turn.   
After a stop by the hotel for a quick lunch, the boys were carted off to the rapids that were a twenty-minute ride from the hotel. They spent the afternoon bumping down the rough waters, covertly casting spells that kept the water off them and splashed it onto the muggles in their raft.  
They returned to the hotel for a quick dinner and then headed to the front desk.   
“We’re here to collect our camping gear for the night,” James said to Rookey.   
“Yes, here you are, sir,” Rookey said as four backpacks levitated towards them. Reaching behind the counter, she placed a tin coffee cup on the counter. “This is a portkey that will activate in one minute. It will take you directly to your campsite. Inside each bag is a map of the trails that are safe and the ones that are not. Please heed them. You are far enough away from other campsites that you should be able to perform magic without any muggles seeing. Please place your hands on the portkey now.” The four had taken the bags and slung them on their shoulders while Rookey was talking and they each reached out to put a hand on the coffee mug. “Have a fun evening. A house elf will be at your campsite at 9 a.m. tomorrow morning to transport you back to the hotel. The portkey will be leaving in three… two… one...”  
As Rookey finished speaking, the four men felt a tugging behind their navel followed by the world racing into a swirl of colour and a jolt as they landed at a small campsite.   
It was nothing more than a small clearing in a copse of trees that smelled of damp leaves and dirt, but for their purposes it was perfect. James set down his bag and quickly rummaged through, pulling out the bundle of cloth that was the tent. Waving his wand, he watched as it deftly unfolded, propping itself up and settling onto the ground. It couldn’t have been more than five feet by six feet and was made of sturdy canvas.   
“Well, in we go, lads,” James said, leading the way. As James pulled the tent flap aside, he was greeted with the sight of a space easily three times the size on the inside as it was on the outside. Four cots were set up in opposite corners of the tent, which centered around a small area with couches and a low table. A small kitchen with a camping stove was set up near the back of the tent.   
“It’s a shame we won’t be using it, as it’s quite nice,” Remus said as he walked in behind James.   
“We’ll be having much more fun out there than we would in here,” Sirius said, poking Remus in the side to get him to move out of the way. Walking to one of the cots, Sirius slung his bag on it and fell onto it with a muffled ‘whump’.   
“Well, I’d say it’s about time for us to get ready,” James said, putting his own pack down on another cot. A light cloud of dust raised when his bag hit the bed.   
“Yeah,” Remus scratched at his arm. His skin always seemed to itch right before his transformation.  
“We’ll change now, and then we’ll all run until it’s time for you to change, yeah?”  
“Change now, yeah. It’s soon, I can feel it.” A sheen of sweat was beading Remus’ brow. He flicked his hand up to wipe it away.   
“Okay. See you on the other side.” Sirius laid his hand briefly on the side of Remus’ face, leaning in and brushing his lips over his forehead. Stepping away, Sirius pulled off his shirt and threw it carelessly onto his cot, followed by his trousers and pants. James and Peter undressed as well, and they all transformed into their animagi forms. Remus undressed along with them and, when they were all ready, he held the tent flap open to let them all through. Then, he ran out of the tent and straight into a beam of moonlight. He let out a grunt, falling to the ground as every muscle and bone in his body stretched and bubbled, reshaping and refitting themselves until a werewolf stood in his place, hunched over and shaking. As it straightened, it shook itself, leaned back and let out a piercing howl.   
Sirius, who had watched the transformation, yipped and wagged his tail. Turning, he started running away from their campsite, tilting his head to indicate that the werewolf should join him. The werewolf hesitated before leaning down on its front legs and loping off after Sirius, who broke into a joyful run. The two were followed by James, with Peter taking up the rear.   
Sirius, still in the lead, suddenly turned and crouched down, tail waggling in the air playfully. Leaping, he landed in front of Remus, nipping playfully at one of his ears. Remus’ tail wagged tentatively as he leaped forward, pinning Sirius down momentarily before Sirius reached out and pulled Remus’ hind leg, causing him to fall. Remus yipped and leaped up, tongue lolling out in a wolfish grin. Sirius got to his feet, turning and running once more, tail wagging wildly behind him. James, who had stopped to watch them play, galloped in front of Remus, taking the lead and turning them slightly. He had noticed a clearing that was a little ways away but was close to their tent. He tilted his head, directing them towards it.   
As they altered their course, Remus caught sight of a rabbit. His head snapped to the side and his feet dug into the ground as he drastically changed direction, leaping after the rabbit. Sirius looked at James, dipping his head in his dog version of a shrug. Turning tail, Sirius followed after Remus, wind whistling past his ears and ruffling his fur. When he caught up with Remus, he saw the werewolf hunched over his prize. He had the rabbit clutched in his two front paws, claws wrapped around and dug into the rabbit’s torso. His posture was half human half animal a he brought the rabbit to his muzzle using his paws and tore into it. Sirius chuffed and stayed his distance, not wanting to provoke Remus into getting territorial. Remus quickly finished his snack, throwing the decimated carcass to the side before bounding towards Sirius once more, tail thumping on the ground. Sirius took off again, this time leading the group towards the clearing.   
They all entered the clearing, Remus nipping playfully at Sirius’ heels. Remus lunged at Sirius again, playfully getting his teeth into the back of his neck for a moment before letting go and circling around. James hung back, Peter at his feet. James and Peter watched for the next hour as Sirius slowly wore Remus out, occasionally joining in on the mock fighting. When Remus finally laid down on the ground, Sirius curled into him, snuffling along his neck before settling his head on Remus’ ribcage. James approached them and lay down at Remus’ back while Peter cuddled into James’ side.


End file.
